There have been so many things I have learned through motherhood and things I am still learning every day. These are a few of the things that I have been reminded of time and time again.
If you are a mom I am sure you can relate in so many ways and if you are an expecting mom, just take it all in because ready or not, here it comes.
I hope you can gain some encouragement in your motherhood walk as you read through the many things I have learned along the way!
There is no love compared to the love you have for your children.
I don’t mean this to discount our marriages at all, because they are a part of creating your wonderful blessings. The love you have for your children is unreal though. I remember people telling me all the time that I will experience an overwhelming love for my baby when she arrived, and they were not lying, not one bit! The feeling of being a mother and being your child’s comforter and protector is the best feeling I have experienced by far. Motherhood is God’s greatest blessing to me, even on those hard days.
Your plans do not always workout!!
In fact, your plans will rarely happen the way you intend for them to. I am still learning to this day to be more of a go with the flow kinda person, while having some structure behind it all. I have had to learn my groove and how to get things done in order to keep plans running smoothly, but it still doesn’t always happen. Preparation is key for me when I do succeed in my plans.
You have to be very intentional about your marriage.
Being a parent is very demanding and takes a lot of time and energy, but it is so important that you and your spouse are taking time to nurture your marriage also. For a while I didn’t make a true effort into putting my marriage first as God intends for it to be. I was so overwhelmed with taking care of my daughter that my husband was often on the back burner, which is not okay. We are now very intentional and make sure to plan a date night and plan on spending some special alone time after the baby goes to sleep.
Your friends will change, you win some and you lose some.
You had a baby. Your whole life now revolves around one tiny little human. Your friends may be in a completely different season of life. Some are willing to stay around and love on your little ones and help and encourage you along the way even if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through, others may not. I have been fortunate enough to find a few of those friends who will but have also lost a few friends along the way also.
It is so important to have other mom friends though. Having someone that you can relate to helps you as you navigate through motherhood. So I encourage you, if you are one of those people who just had a baby and none of your friends are really relating to you, get out and meet some other mommas. You need those relationships in your life!!
You are not alone!
I promise you that anything you are dealing with in life, someone else is right there with you. I have talked to so many moms who have said they are going through something and they feel all alone. This is definitely not the case. Those moms you see on social media who look like they have it "all together", they don't. They are just like you dealing with all the challenges that motherhood brings, they just may not talk about it.
I never realized how selfish I was until I had a baby. Motherhood is one of the most selfless things you do in life. Being a mom is about putting your children first. This does not discount the fact that we as moms need to take care of ourselves, but motherhood is a selfless task.
Your house may never be clean again.
If your child is anything remotely close to mine, then I can promise this to be absolutely true! If I want to get ready, I can bet my whole bedroom will have shoes, necklaces, band-aids, and anything else in her reach sprawled across the floor. Just embrace it mommas and do your best to stay organized. This too shall pass!
You will probably feel every emotion there is in the matter of minutes, multiple times a day.
There are so many days where I literally am so frustrated with my child, then angry, then dying laughing all within a 5 minute time span. Half the time I don’t know how to feel after those five minutes and then I just laugh it off knowing this is what motherhood is all about. God definitely gave me that laughter at the end to brighten up the mood because he knew I could not handle anymore. Can I get an amen here??
There will be days you feel like you’re a failure.
There are soo many days where I put Emersyn to bed and I think, what in the world happened today? Did I even parent as I should have? Did she get anything beneficial out of today? I feel like I was stressed out all day. Did I show her enough love and attention? The truth of the matter is.. there will always be these days in life, whether it is in motherhood or not. We all have days like this, and it is how we handle these days that makes the difference.
You have never needed "Me Time" more in your life!
As a mother, you always have someone needing something or someone shouting your name repeatedly. I never needed much time alone to "recharge" before kids and now I am in desperate need for it sometimes. I used to feel guilty needing a break until I realized how healthy it was for me and my parenting. We all need a break to recharge ourselves sometimes so that we can be the best version of ourselves.
Never say never.
I can’t even count the amount of times I said I would never do something before having a child. Wanna know how many of those things I have done? Probably 75% of them. Life happens. You realize every family has things that work for them and that is what they do. There is no reason to judge those people and say “I will never let my child do that!” You never know what will happen with your child or what you will do because you are not in that season yet.
You have to do what works for YOUR family.
As a firefighter family, we have learned that what works for some family’s has definitely not been the same for us. This is such a major thing for so many family’s and they feel as if they are not doing “what is right” but in reality what is right is what works for your family! Do not be discouraged if you’re doing something completely different than your friends. If it works for you then do it. People will always have an opinion so just keep doing your thing and don’t worry about what anyone else says.
It is okay to cry.
Oh the days where you just want to curl up and cry… Just do it! Sometimes it helps you get past that moment. Don’t beat yourself up for breaking down every now and then. I promise there are millions of moms out there crying right there with you. When your done crying though, pick yourself back up and laugh it off. Laughing at the end of a good cry always helps me move forward!
Savor every little moment.
There are those days, where you just wish they could sit up, crawl, walk, talk, play, etc. We all have them, but I have learned to just cherish the moments they are in at the time. I promise soon enough they will be doing the next thing and you will miss those moments. We had a really rough week two weeks ago and it was a busy week too so I was more than stressed out and thought, “how in the world am I going to make it if my daughter keeps acting like this?” Well now I wish I would’ve just stopped what I was doing and laid down with her and engaged instead of rushing to get things done, because guess what? This week is totally different and she is so much better and happier!
It is all just a season, and you just gotta live through each of those seasons and cherish every moment.
You really can make it through anything!
I never knew I could handle all of the emotions that being a NICU mom would bring on, but I did it. I was there whether I was exhausted, hurting, or sad. As a mother I have learned you just do it and you end up making it through more than you ever thought possible. I believe that God has given us a special ability as we become mothers.
If you are a mom, you are a super hero. End of story. We may not can do everything but we sure can do A LOT! With God’s guidance and grace we can make it through anything.